Gross Jokes



Prepare to laugh until your sides hurt with these 40-gross jokes guaranteed to make even the most serious of people crack up. From puns to riddles and everything in between, these jokes are among the funniest and grossest you’ll find on the internet. So take a break from reality and get your giggle on with these outrageous jokes! 

1. Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was a fungi. 

2. What did the banana say to the doctor? Nothing, it’s just not peeling well. 

3. Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be called bagels. 

4. Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize? Because he was outstanding in his field. 

5. What did the fish say when he hit the wall? Dam! 

6. Why did the centipede go to the doctor? He had 100 aches and pains. 

7. Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re so shellfish. 

8. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide. 

9. Why did the skeleton only go to the movies on Fridays? Because that’s the day the ghouls came out. 

10. Why did the bee go to the barber? He wanted a little off the top. 

11. Why don’t the vampire bats share their food? Because they’re bloodthirsty. 

12. Why did the zombie keep getting fired? He had no brain. 

13. Why did the scarecrow go to the beach? He wanted to get a tan. 

14. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? They taste funny. 

15. Why don’t skeletons ever go out dancing? They have no body to dance with. 

16. Why did the mummy go to the store? He needed some wrapping paper. 

17. Why did the witch go to the shoe store? She wanted to buy some Broomstocks. 

18. Why did the zombie go to the dentist? He wanted to get his teeth fixed. 

19. Why did the monster go to the supermarket? He wanted to buy some fright food. 

20. Why did the witch go to the doctor? She thought she was shrinking.

21. Why don’t witches wear underwear? Because they get a cackle out of going commando.

22. Why don’t mummies go to work? Because they’re too wrapped up in their jobs.

23. What did one goblin say to the other goblin? You goblin great!

24. Why don’t vampires like going to the beach? Because the sand sticks to them.

25. What did the zombie say when he ate the teacher? Braaaaaains!

26. Why does Frankenstein always take pictures? Because he loves to capture the moment. 

27. What did the ghost eat for breakfast? A boo-tato.

28. What did the monster do when he had a fever? He took a ghoul-grape.

29. Why did the werewolf join the choir? To howl along with the others. 

30. Why did the vampire go to the dentist? Because he had fang-ache.

31. Why don’t witches ride bicycles? Because they prefer the broom-cycle.

32. Why don’t zombies like going shopping? Because they can never find their size.

33. Why do ghosts always tell jokes? Because they think it’s funny when people get scared.

34. Why did the zombie order sushi? Because he wanted something raw.

35. Why did the vampire go to the gym? He wanted to build up some muscle and blood.

36. What did the zombie say when he lost his arm? No arm, no gain.

37. Why did the mummy go to the movies? He wanted to see a bandage.

38. What did the zombie say to his date? Let’s go back to my crypt and chill. 

39. How did the zombie open the door? With a deadbolt.

40. Why don’t mummies take vacations? Because they’re afraid they’ll unravel.

These are just some of the best, grossest jokes you’ll find online. Whether you’re looking for a laugh or simply looking to gross out your friends, these jokes have you covered. So get ready to have some fun and find out what makes these jokes so gross – you won’t be disappointed.

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